Back from many vacations, A, & E. triumphantly return to air conditioning and internets to once again do a dual blogging movie review! We both happened to see The Kids Are All Right this week and thought we would both take to the keyboard to expound upon it.
Although its not the type of film one HAS to see at a theater, I've been off work and its 90 degrees plus almost full humidity. So for a $5.50 matinee price and the promise of an entertaining look at an alternative family for two hours of a/c, I was up for it. The premise is pretty simple - lesbian couple with two children born from a common sperm donor (each woman gave birth to one child each, although its never delineated who from who) are upended somewhat by the entrance of said sperm donor into their lives. Annette Bening plays the more butch of the two, with the pretty Julianne Moore letting her hair run a bit dry and careless to get the oh-so-right Northern California vibe. Kids are represented by Mia Wasikowska (Alice in Wonderland) and some other young male actor who was rather dull.
Just coming from a trip to Boulder, I felt like this family could easily live there. They embraced a sunny, healthy, liberal minded attitude. One mom is a doctor and the other stay-at-home mom who used to have many different pursuits that somehow never worked out. But they seem to have it all together in that laid back western way. You know they drink good wine because they have money, they recycle and talk about sustainability and cook healthy fresh foods and probably consult all the latest psychology books on raising their kids right. (The overly self righteous eco crap will eventually get to Bening's character in a little rant that any midwesterner will love.) I liked that the couple seemed to value communication and listening to each other, reminding each other of their goals as people and a family. At the time I was sitting there in the theater, wishing I was always so perfect in talking to my boyfriend this way, and could put my stresses aside in order to always be a gentle, thinking person in everything I do. Then, the shit hit the fan. And I realized, thankfully to the scriptwriter, that these people had just as many problems as other couples. Things that had bothered them for years that they never mentioned. Issues with sexuality, and career, and being sexual, and insecurities and fears and hopes for their children. I like that the Mark Ruffalo character (the "donor") comes off as totally California groovy and breezy (almost a character that doesn't exist in our modern world anymore) and the film plays his charm out to the point where almost everyone is totally over it. You can't live on charm alone darlin, even in boho-land. (Also, leather braided chokers seem to indicate the characters likely to smoke pot, I think. I used to like leather braided chokers. )
I guess what I'm saying is that I like how the film made me admire these people, then sortof hate them for their smugness, and then bring it all back home and show how they aren't so perfect and put together after all. None of us are. But we can work at it, and forgive ourselves, and maybe each other if we're lucky. (Fingers crossed.)
E.
Oh boy, do I ever want to live in a Lisa Cholodenko film. Women are allowed to get older AND stay sexy--and that sexuality is fluid--and everybody is groovy and cool, with tastefully decorated spaces and really high thread-count sheets.
Until, as my cobloggess points out, the shit hits the fan. Cholodenko doesn't let her characters off the hook for their questionable choices, for shaking up their comfortable lives - make up your minds! Fish or cut bait! Sink yourself, or swim semi-contented forever! she demands. In an instant of giving in to too-much grooviness, lives are wrecked, everything is upside-down. I find it mesmerizing. Because I know all too well how quickly things can go from eh, ok to EEEEEE!!! in a moment of giving in to weakness, a slip of loyalty, and maybe, just maybe, a touch of the need for drama.
There is no question this is Oscar-bait for Julianne Moore and Annette Bening, this most honest and realistic portrayal of marriage (Prop 8 be damned). I thought Moore in particular rocked her particularly juicy role. Her speech/rant on marriage should be required viewing for all those applying for marriage licenses, or divorce papers.
The kid actors were more than all right, too. Mia Wasikowska was perfectly, beautifully awkward as a girl not yet a woman, and Josh Hutcherson was perfectly bristly and endearing as the boy who just wants a DAD (I didn't think he was dull, more just sort of young and unformed).
And? Mark Ruffalo as the sperm donor? So hot. So groovy. Such a clueless, home-wrecking ass. Equal parts loathing and sympathy for that dude, that man-boy who gets a glimpse of the "perfect" life, and yearns for it but also? Wants to kick it over, like a boy faced with a gorgeous sand castle. Or a wasps' nest.
Speaking of boys, there was a boy sitting in front of me in the theater. Every time homosexual sex was represented on-screen, he squirmed and giggled and said EEWWWW and then immediately tried to make out with his girlfriend. Every time someone cried or displayed any sort of emotion, he made this ridiculous BOO HOOO and giggled, and then tried to make out with his girlfriend. It was supremely annoying, but also a good reminder that to so, so many folks out there, this realistic depiction of an "alternative" couple is too much to handle.
So. Keep on keepin' on, Ms. Cholodenko and your ilk. Maybe someday with enough casual, big-screen representation of real relationships, everyone will see love as love, marriage (or the long-term coupling of your choice) as joy/work, and understand that sometimes, lesbian couples just need to watch a little man-on-man action.
You know, live and let live. Groovy.
xoxo, A
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