Discombobulation Station

Wah wah wah waaaaaaah

Yeah -- so we lasted, what, all of 6 days? Soory aboot that, Reader.

xoxo, A

 

Fixin'

Today: 

Farmer's Market. Honey, goat cheese, brussels sprouts on their stalk, red russian kale, spinach, delicata squash, onions, shallots, and potatoes for roasting (one lucky kiddo got to ride in a wagon and carry the honey bear for the WHOLE TIME).

Harbor Fish Market. 4 lobsters, 3 pounds of steamers (one delighted toddler got to touch a real live lobster OMG SO COOL!!).

Standard Bakery.  Loaf of seeded white whole wheat slicing bread, fresh baguette (one hungry baby never wanted to leave the bakery AAAAHHH MAMA I WANT TO LIVE IN THE BAKERY AND HAVE COOOKEEEEEEEEES! SHALL FLOP DRAMATICALLY IN FRONT OF THE BAKERY IF DENIED. WATCH ME!!!)

Feast's on at 6 pm.

What are you up to this weekend?

xoxo, A

Living Large - Canada Style

I love this couple!

Happy weekend to youse. 

xoxo, A

Celebitchy

It's inevitable: the celebrity divorce.  Right? Gorgeous, talented (or at least phenomenally lucky), successful people meet, marry, and a few days/months/years later, splitsville.  Even the ones you think will last forever; even the ones who aren't even married in the first place (tearfully looking at YOU, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins!).

Earlier this week, as I trudged yet another load of laundry up the stairs of my drafty ass house, a question floated into my mind. And then out again 'cause the baby woke up from her nap and needed mama-cuddles.

The question gained shape in an hilarious, but true, vent session with my cobloggess over all things domestic a couple of days ago.  I just had to wonder, etc.

So. Here it is. For the purposes of this discussion, please consider anyone who might make the cover of a magazine at my grocery store a "celebrity." It's a terrible catch-all that doesn't allow for any individual quirks or baggage whatsoever. 

So.

Why do celebrities get divorced so often? 

Seriously, what do they have to fight about? They have: nannies, housekeepers, chefs, personal trainers, drivers, enough money, plenty of vacation.

Take away the burden of financial woes, housekeeping quibbles, and my frickin' muffin top, and I honestly don't think the FYD and I would have too much to argue about. Not that we'd be 100% blissful -- everyone has issues, but really --- this would resolve about 75% of any potential friction. It's true, our last dust-up was about laundry. Well, really it was about free time and how to spend it, but the ignition was a big-ass pile of laundry.  If someone did our laundry would we have had the fight? I don't think so. If we didn't have to scrape together the dough to put Little A. in daycare part-time so I could work to scrape together our mortgage payment, wouldn't I be, relatively carefree? More fun? More SEXIER?

Are they just terrible judges of character in the first place? Have they just no sense of compatibility? Now, here's another caveat: obviously I'm not married, so the whole thing is a bit mysterious in the first place. How can it be so...easy to get MARRIED?

Like, OOPS! I got married....Hmm, this isn't really that cool. OK, DIVORCE TIME!And, repeat.

Have any theories, readers?

SUBQUESTION: Which couple was your most upsetting split? Tom and Nicole? Jen and Brad? Al and Tipper???!?!?!?!

(That one really got to me)

Deep thoughts for rainy days, over here.

xoxo, A

Four-word Wednesday

Sugar, Honey, Iced Tea.

oh-no-fully yours, A

(who shall have much more to say tomorrow.)

(photo credit: Portland Press Herald)

Wicked Nailbitah

Hey! You guys! Did you know it's election day? Didja? I bet you did.

This morning, after breakfast and Curious George and general Boynton-fueled tomfoolery, Little A., Floyd the greyhound and I set out a'strollin' to our local polling place. The FYD had stopped by even earlier and reported that the A-L line "was all kinds of LONG" so I girded my loins and prepped a snack pack for a long wait.

On the way, a pleasant older couple in an SUV flagged me down to ask where to vote. I almost asked them for whom they would vote before giving correct directions, but my impartial civic-minded conscience took over at the last minute. 

We tied the doogie outside and trooped in, trailing teddy grahams and waving HI! to everyone (err...Little A. did anyway, I was too busy trying to remember my line-up for the referenda). We didn't have to wait long to vote though. 20 minutes later (it took a long time to remember the referenda, and then Little A. grabbed my pen and scribbled all over Question 4, so if legal immigrants get the vote in Portland you know what happened) we were back outside, avoiding eye contact with the up-for-election at-large City Councilwoman standing outside.

(Dudes, I felt so guilty not voting for her when she was standing out there! But, dudes! She fell asleep (or something scarier than sleep) during a council meeting! Asleep!)

(Politics are SO cutthroat.)

So yeah, here in Vacationland (like in my sistah-blogger's state), we're in mid-term election crazytown. The gubernatorial election has been SUPER contentious, all attack ads and shunned debates and thwarted press-conferences...oh wait, that's just ONE candidate. The one who scares me. This guy.

Ordinarily, I would not get so worked up about a governor (confession time: I've never even voted in a midterm election before!). But here in a state where the government is small, small, small, elected officials really do have an impact. And that guy? He's nuts.  His leadership would send my already struggling homeland into a deeper spiral. Plus. He is soooo not smooth. We don't need to help perpetuate the dopey hay-seed stereotype, thankyouverymuch.

And while everyone I know is voting for this guy, I was reminded earlier that everyone I know also voted in support of gay marriage. And we know how that one went.

So here I sit, hitting refresh over and over and over on our local paper, streaming live video from our local station, watching the numbers fluctuate (the Dem just conceded) within very small percentage points....

And there is no way I am going to be able to stay awake til the end. Damn this 10 pm curfew! Someone text me later, OK?

xoxo, A

Halloween - Costumes Good & Bad

Ah, the popular subconscious. Why is it that you inevitably see multiples of costumes each year? It was actually a treat for me not to have to host a party - getting out and about in the city (three nights in a row) I got to see a good sampling - just taxing through the city, glancing into the 7-11 or on the street corner is such a delight. Here are the duds:

* Snookie. We knew this was going to happen. But at least its mildly funny, and probably fun to wear. Snookie count: approx 4.

*Sookie: Not to be confused with the above reality star, Sookie Stackhouse is the blonde, slightly dippy southern fried star of HBO's True Blood, of which I'm a fan. However, the costume is too easy - Merlotte's t-shirt and some short shorts, a bite to the neck. The Queen of Louisiana would have been more unique choice, and anyone can do it better than the dreadful Evan Rachel Wood. Sookie Count: 5+

*Brett Michaels. Wasn't his show the hottest last year, or the year before, with Rock of Love Bus? Was it all his medical problems that brought him to the fore? I did even see one Brett Michaels in hospital scrubs. Strange. Brett count: 7.

*Katy Perry & Russell Brand. I think most men secretly loved doing Russell - the open shirt, the crazy black hair, the freedom to get totally messed up. I also saw one Katy Perry on her own, sporting the whipped cream bustier. She informed us gals in the bathroom they were empty of cream, but since it was an ad industry party I told her to watch out for nitrus seekers. Best catch - an actual Katy/Russell couple had a blown out fight in a hallway. The spirits haunt. Total count: 4 couples, one Katy.

*Waldo. My friend Claire does Waldo best (see pic) but for some reason I saw quite a few at a party on  Thursday night. It can be done badly, as its too easy. Waldo count (yes there's more than one): 4.

So on that note, on to the winners!

On the kids trick or treat count, there were two Marie Antoinettes but they were so different and so amazing that I give them both kudos - one was headless. And one of my friends needed to be reminded as to who Madame Antoinette was, which goes to prove that schools are doing a heckof a job in Chicago. Also, why were there two Marios and a Luigi? Mario Brothers making a comeback! The Madeline across the street just about melted all of us - she had the little yellow hat and everything.

I saw this couple on Friday night, and although they were wasted they were still slightly put together and friendly as they should be. They're WASPS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our friend hosted a party, and since she's a DJ she was ahem, musically inspired. F*cking magnets, how do they work?

 

 

 

Altho this couple stole the show, don't you think? More magic.

 

 

 

 

On to the recovery now.

E.

Happy Hallo-WHEEEEE!!!

Halloween comes in two flavors here in Maine - ridiculously, unseasonably warm or COLDASSHIT.  My pregnant Halloween was freezing; I had to wear two pairs of tights and a leotard under my nose-job diva gown. Last year, I stayed in but helped the FYD dress up as Indiana Jones garb, the jacket and hat of which were shed in 70 degree nighttime temps. This year, the first year little A. would appreciate any sort of trick or treat-y type of activity...of course, COLDASSHIT.

But we sallied forth in our family costume -- Baby Pirate, Mama Parrot, and Daddy Booty -- and made our way through a "trunk or treat" party*. With many, many layers underneath our getups. The party was big and crowded and our lil' piratina loved every minute (Except for the clown. Why are clowns so damn scary?). Afterwards we plundered a nearby Mexican restaurant, yarrrrrr.  Thar be salsa on me fancy costume! Bawkaw, Mama want a tortilla chip! Etc.

Good, good times.  And plenty of sugary goodness. Little A. had her first candy! And spent the whole ride home asking for a cookie! Cookie! KoooooooOOOOOOKEEEEEEEE!!!!!

("Cookie" being her synecdoche for any sweet thing)

Now is the part where you're all: "How 'bout you wrap this shit up with a couple of cute photos and a witticism?" Reader, I HEAR YOU. Trust. I so wish I could fulfill this mandated blogger-trope.

But. We have a total of 3 shitty pictures of the whole shebang.  Preoccupied with baby-pirate wrangling, I surrendered the camera to the FYD during Stage 1 of trick or treat (visiting the in-laws with my big lil Brother and his kiddos) and while he has many, many fine qualities, photo-ing is not one of them. Granted, it is very difficult to wrangle 3 childrens (my nieces were Cinderella and a garden gnome! So cute!) and a couple of adults into a decent photo without much ado, but STILL. Sigh.

Regardless, we will call the our first "real" Halloween a success.  And beg my sister-in-law to surrender her pictures, which may not be better but hopefully more plentiful.

How were your Hallo-wheees?

xoxo, A

*Do you have these where you are? Ideal for rural or spread-out communities, a group of folks park their cars somewhere, pop the trunks, costume up and decorate -- and of course, hand out candy. Good safe fun for the whole family! Our particular party was held in a church parking lot. No hell-house though, phew.

Here We Go, Yo

It's that time again!!

Aren't you excited.

I don't think this will count as my post today, but it might just count as my post today.

Fingers crossed for good long afternoon naps & compelling content for YOU.

xoxo, A