Over the last few weeks, instead of writing posts or being productive somehow otherwise after the kid goes to sleep, I'll just sort of hang out, mentally flatlined, with my ass parked in front of the TV, half-watching, half-reading Crap on the Internet. You know how it goes. For weeks. Unproductive. Which breeds unproductivity.
There are a handful of blogs I read all the time. One of them is this: Soulemama. This woman is a wonder. She has four kids, homeschools, expects her fifth baby in the summer, makes gorgeous things, and in case that isn't enough she is taking care of the family farm while her husband recovers from a hip replacement.
Hate her yet? I'll admit sometimes I do. She is charming and graceful and funny, and I have a feeling I would like her very much in person, but GODDAMN WOMAN CAN YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING ME FEEL SO INADEQUATE. But I don't stop reading. And feel worse and worse about me.
And then, of course, comes the epiphany. I could be doing stuff too. No one is tying me to the couch or has glued my fingers together or sawed my feet off at the ankles. As much as I want to resent my circumstances for MAKING me tired or whatever, they are not. Remember when we first started this blog? I was busy then, albeit in a very different way. I was not making a ton of money in a city where it is easy to feel like you need a ton. I was working full-time, rehearsing for dance shows, taking yoga teacher training, dating up a storm. I was BUSY. Every night I was going and doing and writing tons and just. LIVING. And it felt great.
It's true what they say about bodies in motion, after all. So inspired by Soulemama and not a little by Mighty Maggie (who can also make a girl feel woefully inadequate, if one is inclined thus), I am gonna break out of my own assprints and DO stuff. Write. Dance. Stop Moping. (This is easier to do in the spring, obvs.)
The kicker? I am getting a little windfall from Uncle Sam this year and have designated a chunk of that change for something frivilous. Denizens of D-Station, If you had a few hundred dollars to spend anyway you wanted, what would YOU do? Should I take a class? Travel?
And I am going to try to come up with a bit of good news to share in this space almost every day. Like this: hooray for my state's vote for safety and sanity! If you have anything to share, please do.
Thanks for reading! All five of you!