Discombobulation Station

Chick Flick

Because we needed something else small and helpless to worry about...

Happy Friday - and Happy Spring!

xoxo, A

First Fight

Well, it was about time. Motoboy and I, after eight months of dating, finally we had our first fight. And it wasn't pretty.

We were on the train coming home from a downtown cocktail party, and somehow I got it into my head that I wanted tater tots with cheese sauce. It was the best idea I had ever had and it was my destiny. I expressed this good news to motoboy.

Me: "Let's stop off and get some tater tots and cheese sauce on the way home!"

Him: "I can make you something at my house. Some chicken and pasta."

Me: "I don't want chicken. I want tater tots."

Him: "Its just that its winter and we need to try to eat more healthy."

[BEAT.]

Me: "If we were on the back of your motorcycle in Wisconsin in the summertime, and I whispered tater tots in your ear, you would totally be all about it."

Him: "That's true. But I can make you something healthy at home."

At this point I went into a long diatribe about the Irish and how they flocked to Chicago because of the prevalence of fried potato products, which you can get on almost any street corner at any hour of the night. This is practically the reason why I live here and one of the most celebrated things about Chicago. Not eating potato products was now both an insult to the Irish, and to Chicago and all it has to offer. I also told him it was crazy of him to try to talk me out of this after I'd had three cosmos.

But I didn't push it, instead looking forlornly out the window. I may or may not have had a protruding lower lip. He grew concerned, and asked me what was wrong. My response?

Me: "It's like you're trying to ruin winter!"

So we got off the train, and I put my hood up in a huff. I realized that I was now in a sour mood and there was only one remedy. But I also did not push the issue because we did need to get home to let the dog out. We crossed the street in front of the pub...and then...he went for it!

I won I won I won! They didn't have tater tots but they had cheese fries and it tasted like heaven. Motoboy made one big mistake though.

Him: "You know if you pout you'll get whatever you want. Oh damn why did I tell you that?"

Still I feel bad for pitching a fit about tater tots. After being single for so long, I'm not used to compromising my fried potato cravings. But motoboy, he's a keeper. I think this is going to be ok.

E.

Monday Update

Oh there is a lot going on for the unemployed gal too, you know. But first, a huge congrats to A and her big news! And I'm putting a ban on wayward Portland doggies stat. Bag doggie. Good on A tho for being careful and staying put till she knew she was ok. 

Am currently excited about a few things. One, this documentary I saw last night at the Chicago Underground Film Fest. Song Sung Blue. I thought it would be a little tongue in cheek bio about this couple from Milwaukee (one of my most favorite cities) who have been a local legend in their Neil Diamond impersonation band. I had no idea I would be moved so much. They are a truly unique couple who have been following their dreams, and there is a lot to say for that. It resonated with me quite a bit. It's not available on video yet but is making the film festival circuit so keep an eye out for it.

Also, motoboy somehow secured tickets to the Obama rally tomorrow. As a history student I want to be nowhere else but in my hometown when justice prevails and this country begins to right itself. Apparently there will be a street parking ban for the entire downtown area, and they are expecting perhaps a million people. I guess we are lucky to have tickets, and I am going to train down as his bike will be securely parked in a garage for the evening. Musical surprises and hopefully (please god!) good news!

Then Friday I am taking the boy to land o cleve to visit the parentals and go to a family wedding. After much back and forth and some hurt feelings, we are going to stay at home. It has been made clear to me that two bedrooms will be ready with the requisite "clean sheets" and all. Also: chipped beef on toast. It wouldn't be home without that. Hope he likes it. 

Am considering waiting tables at a place I worked at TWELVE years ago. Am I really that old? But I was in there for brunch on Sunday and just remembered how nice and easy and neighborhood-y it was. The owner was delighted to see me and I have a call into the manager. Evil previous job is contesting my unemployment insurance so I guess I have to do something in the meantime. Like get out of the house. 

Our Halloween party was a smashing success, I'll leave you with these pics. We had an impromtu costume change after midnight. We gals all morphed into Russian millionairesses, and soon after that we went "trashy" and it got even worse (better). Don't say I still ain't got it, party-wise. It helps to have a really awesome roommate who is a genius at fake botox lip application. 

xo

E.

Update from the working girl

Oh man is it hard to start a new job in the throes of summer! Especially when most days are supposed to begin at 8am. WTF? Anyhoo, I'm through the first two weeks so the more I get the lay of the land the better it is. Not everyone is as nice as my last job (whatever happened to 'how was your weekend?') but the weird thing is that I think I would actually enjoy the work...if all these type A people went and got laid or whatever it is they need to do.

 Girls Weekend 2008 in Michigan was a nice reprieve after my first week.  Road tripping with 5 other girlies in a rented minivan. We screamed when we realized the doors opened with a touch of a button. We had lunch at a Steak N Shake (!) wearing our matching commemorative t-shirts, went canoing (with beer, of course) and a fancy dinner in a converted insane asylum.  We only came back with two cases of Michigan wine tho due to the fact that L. Mawby's (our fav sparkling wine option) closed a bit early on the Saturday.  Also made the traditional stop on the way home at the porn shop bordering Illinois, wherein we nearly chased out all the pervs with our squealing. First story from Penthouse Forum read aloud by SH featured an IT guy with a motorcycle. Lucky me! Then dad called my cell later when I was paging through the book and I had to throw it into SH's lap. You'd go straight to hell for talking to your Catholic dad while paging through a porn mag. THAT much I know thanks very much. Yes, I'm going to be a godmother in August. Ha ha.

This last weekend I met motoboy's parents who were awesome. I promptly got them drunk on the Friday, I think they left my garden at about 1.30 am. Sunday I went sailing for the first time and I loved it! So there's more of that in the near future for me.

So summer belongs to the evenings and the weekends for now. I just hope it doesn't fly by too quickly. Because I am tempted to quit and just travel for the rest of the warm months. Probably not a good career move, or a good one for my pocketbook either. Damn.

E.

All the Way Home

****UPDATE! UPDATE!****

We are pleased to report a happy ending for the wandering porker. Who, is, of course, not acceptable as pork whatsoever. Or as a plaything for a pig roast. Boy, college students sure are dumb.

xoxo, A

ORIGINAL POST:

Who else watched Top Chef this season? It was so on - from the Chicago setting to the beastly Lisa to the actual talents of the other two finalists, I just ate it up! With a spoon! And some wasabi-white chocolate sauce on top!

(wah ha ha, extendo-Bravo-style pun in homage)

Anyway, stumbled on the reunion show last night. My personal fave, Richard Blaise, had to join via video, 'cause at the time his adorable progeny had not yet sprung. Love him, love his funny cooking and find myself imitating his scrunchy pained cooking face. And people! Master Blaise has STOLEN my dream restaurant name! Oh well. He can has it. I can has less funy harz k thks bai!

Oh, wait, no bai yet. Speaking of "home," I wanted to also share with you an awesome piece of journalism from my local rag. Not sure what it is, maybe writing in a small market for a big owner is liberating or something (JenG?) but...just please look at this story: it's adorable.

You can bet this little piggie will not be gunned down by...oh, I won't even go there.

Oink!

Have lovely weekends, ya'lls.

xoxo, A

More Fun Stuff

I've been so busy worried about my job(s) that I forgot to mention that summer hath arrived in Chi-town! This I knew because...

*I joined a russian biker gang last Saturday and went down to the Indiana Dunes on the back of motoboy's rat bike. It was remarkably comfortable, and he took me past all my favorite stuff: historical neighborhoods (south shore!), industry (ah the Cleveland girl comes out and she's randy!), and ummm well, Casinos, and then the lovely wooded byway to the park district was just about perfect. We drank beer and ate BBQ, took pictures on the beach, and then sat around on some other broken motorcycles and came home after dark.
*New awesome roommate had a beachside BBQ the very next day. I took my scooter and laid around with a big sunhat and glasses drinking punch and cooking cheezy brats. Man I love me some cheese with my meats. Bef had a barbie cake which was very impressive.
*Inaugural sitting in the backyard garden having a cig and finishing a book. (Stephen King's "On Writing" was delightful and very entertaining, check it out.)
*Although this is not necessarily summer related I am wicked excited to meet my friend Kerry at O'Hare tomorrow because we are going to THIS and staying HERE and I'm going to write about it for THIS MAGAZINE.
*The weekend after that I go to Columbus to see a new baby and my baby Sara H who is settling into the bachelor pad. She does not pee in the backyard, despite the rumors.
*The weekend after THAT, we go to Traverse City. SIX of us. So we rented a passenger van. Is going to be insane.

Somewhere in there I start a new job so I hope they are Ok with my crazy life. It was a long winter, but I think that's why Chicagoans have more fun in the summer times. We go apeshit, really.

E.

Crackers/Cracking the Window

When I was in college I had a very clever friend. Well, a sort-of friend. We spent a lot of time together but it was always a little strange. She was cool, with ironic Ts and hipster sneakers before we knew what that stuff WAS, and smart, and she wasn't very nice but man, did she have a way with words.

She once said one of our mutual friends was "like a Wheat Thin." She explained that she would never be all excited about hanging out with said friend, and in fact would sometimes avoid it because she was afraid it would be dull, but would always find herself very much enjoying the time she spent with him, and find excuses to hang out for longer than the block of time she had alloted. And then as soon as they were done hanging out, she would forget and the pattern would repeat itself. This was a remarkably apt description of this dude. I felt exactly the same way but never realized it until she said so.

This weekend I was perusing the cracker aisle. We had the big housewarming party and because I am a girl (and it is shark week) I bought a shitton of snacks.

Well. Did you know there are now 12 varieties of Wheat Thins? TWELVE? What a little bomb of American bourgeois consumer guilt this set off in my wee cranium. A round dozen flavors of a relatively non-nutritive food in a sea of other snacks. How much did nabisco spend coming up with "sun-dried tomato and basil" wheat thins anyway? And don't they know that sun-dried tomato is a mockable, cliche flavor? And how did they make them so delicious?

And then I wondered if my mean clever friend, who later would come out only to date women who look exactly like her, would want to revise her simile, or if she would just say it was old skool and fuck those other flavors, man. 

xoxo,
A

Wow We're Terrible Bloogers

No you're a blooger! Ha ha oof. All right. Sorry about that. Not that there isn't anything to share. Listen to my crazy week!

Monday: rode out to Berwyn on the back of a mad max style honda, on the highway! The boy is forgoing his usual aesthetics (apocalyptic, from what I can see) and building me a seat made of a recycled leather jacket, foam padding and rivets. Awwww.

Tuesday: Hung out with T-bone in her backyard and had many beers, brats and catching up. Stopped at boy garage to say hi and had glass of wine. Came home and had beer with roommate. Result: very tired on...

Wednesday: Somehow made it through work, lunchtime yoga (holy headrush) and commitment to take a production vendor/friend out to fancy wine dinner to make up for giving her a hellish few months.

Thursday: No parties. No socializing. No dinner out. Thanks but sorry. I couched it and fabulous roommie made french onion soup from scratch and we watched quality Bravo TV programming. Bed at 10pm. Lovely.

Friday: M's bachlorette party turned co-ed dinner at Hamburger Mary's - yum! Quick drink at Simon's then home to sit with boy in windowsill. Roommate is still making fun of me for being all mooney eyed at him. Not fair.

Saturday: Yard sale on the treelawn, which was kind of chaos. I guess if you say 10am, there are some serious shoppers there at 9.55. My favorite was this old eastern European lady who was wearing three different animal print patterns and had her own shopping cart. She got some cookware, some silver tubs I got free form work, and a ring, but we really had to squeeze the $23 from her. Also a lot of older men coming by to shoot the shit, some not even glancing at the tables. "How come I've never seen you before?" Umm because I don't usually sit on the sidewalk drinking Tecate from a coozie. I have a wall see? To keep people like you bothering me with details of your life (do I really care that you just got back from Arizona?). But it was good times and roommate made a bit of gas $ (her: $300, me $30). Then we had a birthday party for her featuring fried chicken and champagne, mostly her friends who are very nice and funny.

Sunday: Thank god for the rain no yard sale. Arrested Development Season 2 on DVD, bloody marys, eggs and home made biscuits. I haven't showered but I did pull out the foot bath so my toes are ready for sunny Florida.

What is new with you?

E.

Comparative Blogiture

Hola mi amigos. Long time, no post from me. We can perhaps partially ascribe this to spring fever + hormonal fluctuations (fuck you, Pill!) = vague, persistent, and debilitating offitude.  Yes, OFFITUDE.  I am all about the offitudinous behaviors, including irrational rage at ill-purchased baked goods (an episode you were glad to not witness, trust me), irrational fear of IRS audit leading to totally bizarre dreams, irrational feelings of fatness, boredom, and fatigue, inability to focus on anything for more than 15 minutes, sore shins, zits, increased googling for recipes like "lemon sugar cookies" and "apple raspberry crisp" and a sharp uptick in kayak searches for airfare to Pasadena or Portugal. SIGH.

Of course it's not all bad. People walking about are sporting spring-cute outfits and there are actual flowers growing out of the ground! And later I might be able to work from my deck! But mooooan grooooan I just want to lie on the couch and go for walks and not talk to people for like two weeks, ok?

Totally boring right? You should be THANKFUL I have not posted. But I feel bad. BLOGGER GUILT.

So, I'll give you some PHOTOS and LINKS, free-association styleee, and we'll rassle a decent post out of this somehow.

Well, a little while ago our new local, which is angling for the title of "funnest bar ever" held a mustache pageant. The FYC grew a rad fu manchu and I did what I could. See?

This photo reminds me of the hilarious fantasticosity of Antonia at Whoopee. Have I recommended her before? If not, get thee there and read. Oh, hey, she's feeling off too! But she is much funnier about it.

The day after that the FYC and I were hungover indeed but decided to host brunch for my bro and family. Launa repaid our efforts by helping defrag my hard drive (someone who knows something about computers might help make that joke better).

And my exploitation of my adorable niece reminds me of all the renewed fuss about mommy-bloggers lately.  The mommy-blogger thing will not die, regardless of how many mommy-bloggers insist they are not mommy-bloggers and at the very least they are NOT AT ALL LIKE the other mommy-bloggers and aahhhhh$*@!*@*!!!

Sorry, my head exploded. I will spare you the internet circle jerk that brought me to this state. Is it me, or is the blogosphere just a tad claustrophobic? People pickin on people and all that. It's all very junior high.

A bunch of other stuff happened. We bought effing enormous TV and a couch from craigslist so you all can expect a housewarming party invite soon. I tried to watch Gossip Girl on the big TV but I didn't get it.  Friends, I am no longer able to watch ANY scripted television show unless it is on DVD (except, err....Friends, in reruns, but that is just like eating potato chips). Does anyone actually watch shows when they actually come on anymore?

Instead I watched Step Up and Dance! Does anyone get why Elizabeth Berkley is the host of this show? Wasn't it a movie about dancing that almost did her career in?

Lastly, last night it was decided that the stinky kitty veddy veddy much needed a barth.

He hates us. But today he is so fluffy and fragrant!

And on that note, I bid you adieu. Adieu, adieu,to yuh and yuh and yooo-hoo!

xoxo, A

March Non-Madness

I'm sick.*

Because I bragged about not getting sick for the last oh, year or so.

So the gods of sickness bestowed upon me a sore throat, followed by chesty tight cough, followed by bronchial type heaving, and then did an unusual turn and went back up to give me a case of the Niagra falls nose. WTF?

So I spent the whole weekend on the couch (except for one fun interlude Friday night at Hourglass, where I renewed my passion for Soju) generally feeling sorry for myself and watching movies.  I watched Across the Universe (stunning!), Ira & Abby (cute: neurotic, Jewish boy meets quirky WASP girl and they get married within a week) and made the mistake in a moment of weakness ordering The Jane Austen Book Club off ondemand. I don't even read Austen. But it had a cute boy in it so whatever.

I can't seem to find a medication to temper my nose - the phenylephrine wasn't working at all, so I marched down to the drugstore yesterday and got the good stuff - A. said Sudafed Red (with pseudoephedrine) was the best. I had to sign for it and everything - lest I be meth maker! -  and still even that didn't work. I guess my body is just going to do what it wants. A.  said she went through two boxes of kleenex last time she got sick let's see if I can top her.

Boo hoo hoo poor me. But I did discover my favorite nighttime potion.  What a new friend is calling Jametussin - sleepytime tea (peppermint and camomile) with lemon, honey and a good ounce or three of Jameson.

E.

*FYI I recited this poem in front of my entire k-8 grade school when I was in first grade. Apparently it was pretty freaking adorable.