Because my life is so unstructured, things get a bit disjointed. I find it hard to concentrate on any one topic, I guess because I don't have to. I can come back to it later. I can take a nap. I can go for a walk, go to the coffeeshop, meet motoboy for lunch. Go read that thing later. Do the laundry later. I've turned myself into an ADHD sufferer but I don't seem to mind too much. The only time I feel really organized is when I'm pressed for time. Helping a former coworker do some casting for a short film, I worked three afternoons in a row and found myself throwing in laundry and running errands on my way to and from downtown. What hence this organization!?
In the spirit of this strange headspace I am in, I bring you random thoughts with the permanently-free freelancer:
-I got turned down from another gig I really wanted. Well, this one I wanted more than the others and was not at all second guessing leaving the freelance world for. Well, maybe a little concerned about taking a full commitment, but it was the type of job I could not turn down. The interview went great too, all hugs (they're old colleagues, and half of them my facebook friends) and casual discussions on couches and talk of helping me fulfill my career goals. At least they were nice enough to contact me by phone to let me know they were bringing someone in from another of their locations. Oh well. There might be another (freelance) gig in the works at this place so we shall see.
-While we're on the subject, I'd like to make a quick list of all the jobs/gigs I have applied for since January. Not that I have anything to prove except the odd fact that it *is* really hard out there for a pimp. In summary: assistant producer position at a booming agency that I had never heard of before last year (no return email), post producer opp at the place I used to work (went away/no money), marketing position at a well known local t-shirt dotcom (wasn't really qualified for it but gave it a shot anyway), bidding on a job for an agency serving a local prestigious university (looked at my numbers, then covered from within), introduction to head of production for a pharma related agency (sent reel to him and no response), fifteen blind emails to boutique agencies that have never heard of me, five to ten emails to agencies/post houses that have heard of me/hired me in the past (nice replies back, no work avail), interview for a writing/producing position at the website of that one show hosted by the richest lady in the world (opening downgraded to runner), and about five to ten email responses to craigslist ads looking for project managers, producers and interactive producers. It can't just be me. With these odds someone was bound to make a leap and hire me randomly at least. Its really a bit weird.
-The motorcycle debacle hath been solved. After a few teary blowups it is all over with, and he agreed to take it away. Hopefully he can sell it and make some money back, because he did put a lot of work into it. I was sad to see it go, well, not a whole lot but a little. I was sad that it didn't work out, but it wasn't my fault. Some things are just not meant to be. I am TOTALLY into my scooter again though. Mbeeb beep!
-When you have lost any source of income for five months, you really start thinking of creative ways to make money. I'm looking into writing for content mills (Suite101, about.com, etc) even though they don't pay much. I have always avoided it out of some sort of writer's pride, but I now realize this isn't the kind of writing I would put a lot of soul searching into. Basically you try to find keywords that people are looking for in search engines but a combination of terms that don't return a lot of page results. Therefore you have a higher chance of being on the golden first page of the google result, and a better chance of sharing the click through ad revenue. It would be a good way for me to learn about SEO and writing for the web, as I do see these kinds of writing gigs come up from time to time. A, how come we don't have google ads on this page again? Integrity has gone out the window.
-And that is why when, at The Moth live show on Tuesday (if you haven't heard these wonderful stories, go to itunes and download the whole series right now) the theme was money and it hit home in a wonderful way. One of the exercises they do is have the audience fill out a slip of paper with a question related to the theme of the night. The question was, "What's the worst thing you've ever done for money?" Some favorite answers were, "Hired a prostitute for my friend and then stole the money back from her." "Did a strip tease for my boyfriend's clients." "Licked peanut butter off a dog's balls" (MC: that's a triple dog dare!) "Dated my boyfriend." But the one that the host didn't understand at all was "Sell my underwear to a stranger on craigslist." He could not believe this was true, that somewhere in America there are people who want to buy dirty underwear. Of course there is are you living under a rock!? I have a friend, who has a friend, (I know I know, just go along with it because its true) who said that she had resorted to selling used bras on ebay to make her mortgage. You have to list them as "gently used" and she was getting good money. We spoke of going to Target or second hand shops, loading up on bras, wearing them one or two times and popping them off in the mail to strangers. Hey, at least its anonymous.
-I'm also considering some catering work, because now that its getting nice out I really don't want to have to get an office job, even if someone would give one to me. Catering might be good because I can choose my hours/gigs (I think) and not feel bad if I have to ditch it completely should another freelance things come up. Only problem is my restaurant service experience is fifteen years old. They might not like that but I'll give it a shot.
-I've found all the geocaches near my house, my boyfriend's house and my parent's house. I like to steal the Elsa dog and go on adventures. It's incredibly exciting to go on a mission, searching for sometimes up to a half hour, and then finding the cache. Also, coming out of the bushes in the park, trying to look normal in front of the Muggles (non-geocachers) makes me feel kinda creepy and curious. Its a nice little hobby for me and I've collected a little ziplock bag of trinkets and coins from around the house to leave in the caches if there's room. Motoboy is a bit over-sympathetic and says things like, "its great that you have a hobby that gets you out of the house and an excuse to exercise." Grrrrrrrr. He means the best, just sometimes it comes out ALL WRONG.
-I went home for the weekend and didn't get into a fight with anyone, blocked a few attempts and ignored some odd outbursts, so it was a win win for everyone. I did notice a few things that now make a lot of sense. My family is a very sitty-downy kinda group. Everyone is either reading or watching tv if not doing yard work, errands or cooking. But the goal of all exercises is to be sitting down "relaxing" at all possible times. This is why I find I'm better than other people at sitting down, laying down and keeping still for prolonged periods of time. Also, we can be a very talkative bunch but as soon as food is served the table is in complete silence for the duration of the meal. Almost any interruption is viewed as hostile and turns into an argument. I also witnessed my dad do this in restaurants on two occasions. This might be why it took me years to be comfortable in dining situations, I really had to learn the art of talking and eating at the same time. Understandably it makes me nervous! All in all I have to say it was a decent trip home, and no one made me feel weird about not working, which surprised me.
That's all the randomness I have for now. Welcome to my brain, its all that's really going on.