UPDATE: Anxiety transference! The FYD reports dreams of "leaving the baby in hot cars." While I am peacefully having plain old dreams about being back in college, and making my own wedding cake. The subconscious, she is weird.
Swear to God, if I have ONE more dream where I abandon, allow to be snatched, or give up to kidnappers my wee peanut, I am GOING to a HEADSHRINK.
Over the past couple of weeks, as I become more comfortable IR(M)L [in real (mama) life], apparently my subconscious is convinced I am going to fuck up royally.
In my dreams I have: willingly given the baby to a kidnapper (in the guise of a craigslist scam), abandoned the baby twice: once at the top of a steep ladder, and once at E's apartment (without telling her roommate!) so I could attend to a music festival, and, last night, left her in her stroller unattended in a crowd so that she was snatched. The last one was the worst - complete with panicked frantic searching...having to tell the FYD that the baby was gone... and chest-heaving, near-puking crying...the works. And the GUILT. Oh the GUILT that goes along with all these dreams.
It's awesome. In case I didn't feel inadequate enough during the day, at night I get to be the mother who ends up on the evening news!
(help send wine and psych referrals)
xoxo, A
I had tons of dreams where I dropped Austin. Just dropped him on his head. Or a few nightmares where I'd pick him up and accidentally puncture his soft spot with my fingernail or something. I think they're a normal part of maternal bonding. Or insanity from sleep deprivation. One of those.
Posted by: Jensational | June 24, 2009 at 09:03 PM
Ha ha did I go to the music festival with you in your dream? I really would not think that cool in real life. You will enjoy a bit in "The Hangover" for this reason alone.
Posted by: E. | June 25, 2009 at 06:16 PM